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Expensive weddings are an obscene waste of money essay
Are Weddings A Huge Waste of Money? - Blog” i think that people should consider weddings the same way you consider your friend’s expensive shoe addiction – it may seem crazy to you, but if they have their finances in order, they’ve been saving, and they aren’t going into debt over it, leave them alone. piece is so vintage nyt style: faux trend, flimsy research, and both essentialist and scare-mongery. and for the ladies, estate jewels are the way to go.;dr – huge costly weddings are stupid, throw rocks at them :p. edwardian is my personal favorite era for jewelry, and you can really twist arms on prices because those vintage pieces aren’t hard to find (a lot of ladies that wore jewelry in the 1920s are kicking off these days). i hate that it’s another one of those “bitches are crazy!: shitty and sexist expectations this is something i read in a blog-post (sorry don’t remember where); but within a general discussion of how ‘feminine’ things are generally devalued in society at large, the author compared the criticism of spending lots of money on a wedding with the lack of criticism or any sort of judgement on all the money that goes into the superbowl (e. course, i was lucky i had family that understood (hello, claustrophobic spouse and parents who also had a 30-person wedding at guruvayur…)! the whole planning thing was turning into a nightmare (and we haven’t even booked any vendors). point is that, because we had been aggressively saving for a number of years, we could comfortably spend a fairly large chunk of money without jeopardizing our medium-term financial goals for the future. that much money on one day is just irresponsible and downright stupid., because i am the bride, i am bombarded with messages that i should care a lot about the details of wedding planning, that i should be good at it, that i should love every moment of picking out gorgeous flower arrangements and adorable wedding favors.” those shows are carefully crafted to make you want to buy stuff. i agree with the ones that say they’d rather spend extra money on trips or what have you…. let our money we already had determine what we would spend, not what people expected or what the industry tells you you should do. clothes that are made in the usa are made in a person’s home piecemeal. do we explain why bigger and more expensive weddings are a negative trend? the two most formal weddings i attended were 1) a couple of friends who set up a breton procession of their families, with traditional attires (most likely an idea of both of them – and it was awesome), and 2) a friend who married a arizonian woman, and even then the ceremony was in the form of a handfasting, which is both very formal yet loose, and i found very moving (i discovered handfasting at that occasion – i must add this wasn’t the actual wedding, which took place in arizona, it was a replay of the wedding for the benefit of the grooms’ kith and kin who couldn’t afford the trip – they still chose a very nice place, the castle of la turmelière, birthplace of joachim du bellay, which not only is very classy, but since two of our friends, one as an historian, the other as an arts historian, knew the place very well, we got to have pretty educative improvised visits of the domain). anyone noticed how people who comment on wedding posts are the most annoying people in the world?[…] ramit sethi writes in why are we all hypocrites about weddings? what about saving that money for the rest of your life? comments, like the weddings that spawned them, are all about declaring who you are to the world. lots of guests, lots of attendants, a fabulous dress, flowers like those huge cabbage roses in four weddings and a funeral, and a great reception. btw, the spouse was briefly into the fantasy football when we first met, and i totally put the kaibosh on it once the kids came along, because it took up way too much time and money. offer to pay them something, naturally, since you’re asking them to share your special day by working at it, and you’ll be a good deal more comfortable letting a friend or family member capture private moments.,it has become fashion to spend more money,and they get attention from other people by spending more money. far i’ve found the easiest way to save money on a wedding is not having one.[…] i will teach you to be rich has an interesting post about how much people spend for their own weddings but declare that everyone else is crazy for spending that much. conclusion, the increasing costs of weddings are a result of forgetting about the true meaning of marriage these days, and i believe that these changes should not be desirable. a parent, i feel parents have a lot to do with the wedding budget. the most important part of the wedding is the group of people who share it with you, not the number of tiers on the cake. weddings get competitive, but also there’s the desire to treat your friends to the same caliber of evening that they have treated you to. just as they were unprepared for the cost of their “simple” wedding, they will be slammed with the real cost of having kids.’s all very well to go on about how much money you saved on your wedding — no doubt lots of good ideas there — but it does start sounding like the four yorkshiremen talking about how hard they had it as kids: “you got married under a tarp held up by four sticks? my point is, don’t look down your nose at expensive weddings because someone can just as easily look down their nose at something you choose to spend your money on- motorcycles, expensive travel, collections, golf, etc. from number 4, these seem so normal to me that it’s surprising to see that they are not even considered in your article. and for those who can think of things they’d rather save their money for (not to mention those who actually *prefer* a simple wedding), the latter option is perfectly realistic. now, i love going to weddings and taking part in something important that my good friends and close family are doing. the majority of the money should go to the honeymoon since most the time the honeymoon lasts longer than the wedding.[…] the k question: why are we all hypocrites about weddings – why don’t single people just plan that they’re going to have a really expensive wedding, because they probably will. we live in southern california, so the following day, we’ll all plan to go to one of the summer festivals that are always happening in our area so the out-of-towners can experience pgh. for example, it has become quite common now a day’s to invite film stars and other famous celebrities to the weddings by paying a huge amount as their fees. we only had 8 people there (some of whom we paid hotel and flight expenses for), had it in the courtyard of a b&b in new orleans (and saved money by having a wedding and honeymoon all in one), and then took everyone out for dinner and bar hopping late until the night afterwards.’m sure that the folks who posted comments about how cheaply they were able to plan their weddings are mighty proud (and very lucky to have so many helpful friends). only other suggestion i’d make is to pay for things in their order of importance: if it’s extremely important to you, stuff the standard wedding time-lines and do it first before you run out of either money or time.. conde nast bridal group) who have an interest in driving up spending on weddings. trust me, when the planning is going on and the decisions are being made, expenses add up extremely fast. in my case, my parents are contributing ,000, my future in-laws are contributing 00, and my fiance and i are paying for items we think should fall under our own budget (rings, gifts for attendants and parents etc). but lets cut to the chase:We have over 2000 high quality digital photo’s, and a huge number of them are good. your opinion, why is this the case and what are the effects on society? but if you are “too serious” about dieting and exercise you’re shallow. when i read these articles or watch those movies that have the montage of the characters starting their wedding plans at the age of 8, i have absolutely no idea who these women are. don’t care if other people think it’s tacky, but i would prefer financial gifts in lieu of buying overpriced merchandise off of a bridal registry at some foo foo department store.[…] of us focus on how to cut corners for a wedding, this gentleman is focusing on the concept of saving money for an ‘average’ wedding–in 2007 those figures are about ,000–before you get […]. you know what, even if those women are vapid and buy into patriarchal shit, i’m glad they’re obsessed with the perfect wedding(tm), as sick as that personally makes me, rather than the one(tm). but too much is “tradition” and “culture” and neither of those is inherently worth anything, and often are just symbols of status-based-on-oppression, of women, and people from lower ses, and so on. i am currently in the middle of planning my 11/08 wedding and am dealing with the cost of living in the nyc area. is true that couples are increasingly spending greater money on their weddings than ever before nowadays. so much of our american weddings have become institutionalized over the years, people think that they need these things to be a part of the big day. places in my area that aren’t made of 100% plastic usually have their own catering lists, too.
The 20 Biggest Wastes of Money and How to Avoid Themi like that article as a counterpoint – because, at least among my friends/family/social circle, in south asia huge weddings are the norm, and i find them so unnecessarily costly, extravagant and also stupid. and doing that on a budget will be difficult in my area, and for me. we are cutting corners where we can and are pleased with the results so far. seriously,you are doing such a great service that i thought must be appreciated ! otherwise, they are robbing their children and their grandchildren of a financially sound future. said, are these unengaged women planning their weddings actually hoping to have a wedding exactly like they plan? countries like japan or china pay in cash the same day (money in an envelope) buy you should take care of not losing all that money in your wedding day! spain we used to give presents at weddings until the end of the 80’s. anyone asks my mother why she was okay with eloping (because let’s face it, nobody ever asks my dad if he really wanted a large wedding) she fixes them with a glare and says “why? two great examples of his style and advice are the ,000 question: why are we all hypocrites about weddings? you can save money and rest secure in the knowledge that you’re paying the person who is making the dress much more than that person would be receiving if you bought the same dress in a dress shop. if you want to spend a large amount of money, plan ahead and start saving now even before you get engaged. secondly, spending too much on wedding is making to lose the importance of the original occasion as people are concentrating more on unnecessary things rather than making it a special day for the people who are getting married.” now, those are ceremonies a bitter atheist can be proud of! was thinking about this post today as i forked over more money for a bridesmaid dress than i’ve ever spent on any other piece of clothing in my life.’s basically my summary of this new york times article, which covers a small number of women who planned their weddings (or are still planning their weddings) before they even had a boyfriend.. rather than renting table cloths and silverware, we found is significantly cheaper to go to ikea and buy several dozen utensil sets, and hit up a big lots store for table cloths (less than per cloth, less then per set for utensils). it’s just every post about weddings turns into this. for the things you de-prioritize, beg, borrow, and steal to save money: use a public park instead of a ballroom, ask your baker friend to make the cake, and ask relatives to help with cleanup. the way, if anyone’s interested in a no nonsense wedding ceremony in the bay area, i’m ordained. perhaps that’s not so common once the bride and groom are past their early 20’s? his tips are the only ones that aren’t the same old stuff regurgitated to the masses (except his save ,000 in 30 days series). think it’s upsetting when i see women going whole-hog about their weddings, because it’s possibly the only time in that woman’s life when she is expected to be the boss, expected to behave like a ceo.(i’m not married nor anywhere close to it, so i can’t say anything from my personal experience, but i hate huge parties and wasting money so i’m guessing that if i ever have a wedding it’ll be on the small size ;) ). seems to me that all the essays i read for part ii are awfully short given the allocated time frame. it is extremely difficult to plan a budget wedding in this area for 200+ guests. a freakin’ lot), as well as the frayed nerves, potential exhaustion, and very real possibility that you might lose a friend, or an eye, and compare to the cost of a “real” dj. but you are in good company since almost everybody else does it, too. is something i read in a blog-post (sorry don’t remember where); but within a general discussion of how ‘feminine’ things are generally devalued in society at large, the author compared the criticism of spending lots of money on a wedding with the lack of criticism or any sort of judgement on all the money that goes into the superbowl (e. that is the absolute least expensive option from any vendor in the area. don’t hate on me because i’m going to spend some money on my wedding (which we’ve planned and are saving for – i’m not dropping k, but i’m not spending less than k either, unless we all stand in a field and catered food rains from the sky).. my wife has been a bridesmaid in at least a half-dozen weddings, and the bridesmaids have always been expected to purchase their own dresses.[…] at i will teach you to be rich recently wrote an article about the cost of weddings. we are not super young, we live together, we manage our finances and our household and our careers.…it doesn’t matter if you, personally, are against separating things into male and female or not. the high cost of weddings: how we did it, and how you can too ∞ get rich slowly november 8, 2007. (a woman i saw on a forum who said this in order to justify spending so much on a wedding) how about instead, you ask your parents to pay for a 10k wedding, and donate 150k to a charity or a good cause? also goes back, i think, to the idea that females (again, heterosexual woman-identified) are validated by having a male partner. because that’s what a bunch of you guys are saying you asked your friends and family to do. comments are great, but they also reflect exactly what i wrote in the post: to most people, it seems easier to downsize and simplify a wedding than to plan for it, but the truth is anything but — especially when you have a 0 billion industry (and your family) pressuring you to have a beautiful wedding “because you deserve it.'s the question that we started to look at last week: Marriages are bigger and more expensive nowadays than in the past. i really don’t like weddings, largely because they manage to club together so many things i hate (crowds, spontaneous matchmaking, wasteful feasts, bling competitions, snobbery, asshattery and slut- and fat-shaming galore. i was all set to comment about how i saved money on my wedding, but then i read tiredweddingguest’s comment #219 and decided to rethink my comment. i also have many friends and family members who have gotten married in the last five years and are gearing up to get married – it means that weddings are a near-constant topic of conversation. we are not poor–our combined income is well over 0,000/year–but we would much rather take five additional vacations in europe or hawaii than donate money to the wedding industry. in fact, to be honest, most representation of weddings i got through us media has always seemed a bit… excessively formal and ceremonial? on the one hand, i don’t like going to weddings with a dj who has a program. it’ll be your special day, so why not spend some extra money to get the extra-long roses or the filet mignon? really like the recent piece on thebillfold about weddings/marriages. no family members telling you because they contributed money they must get a say and you must have that pink tulle everywhere otherwise they won’t pay for anything and poof, there’s your source of money. do you wear a tiara to work to show how glamorous you are? we got married outdoors at a quaint (but inexpensive) spot and we provided an open bar by buying the liquor ourselves and having a family friend “police” the bar area to make sure the teenagers didn’t raid it. discussions just seem to fall very well into the larger narrative of how anything ‘feminine’ is a waste of time/money (even as we are shown in movies/on tv the great importance of a big, expensive wedding) but exorbitant spending on something ‘masculine’ is totally ok and the norm. (i’ll spare you the details of how we managed this, since i’m sure you’d consider our very informal outdoor wedding “unrealistic”–but many relatives and friends told us it was the nicest wedding they’d ever been to. all wedding companies do is convince people who are getting married that they have to spend thousands of dollars in order to have a half-decent wedding. my parents came from india and i had about 20 -25 friends who flew in from various parts of us. and though we’re still at the dreaming stage right now, we have some priorities set down- big group photos are important, a videographer, not. there’s no guarantee that none of your guests are going to be involved in an acrimonious lawsuit with another guest, or grab the mike from the dj and start exhorting everyone to come to jesus, or get drunk and decide to have it out, at the top of her lungs, with the older cousin who sexually abused her as a child and the aunt who (as she sees it) let it happen. where did all that money you withdrew last week go? these people are often amazing seamstresses, very accurate, and very cheap.
The ,000 question: Why are we all hypocrites about weddings?and the only kind of flowers i like are white daises. those who come from money, or whose parents (who can afford to do so) pay for the wedding, i have no problem with that. promise i’ll go back to read the rest of the article but i had to stop for a moment to comment, those two things don’t at all belong to the same sentence, an expensive wedding is an expenditure, like having a meal or burning money at a bonfire, buying a home however is more often than not a lifetime investment that rewards most people…."people in developed countries are wealthier than their ancestors in the past". they are planning a party for 80 later in the year to celebrate at a restaurant that only charges for the food not space. at least you are able to spend that kind of money.” if you liked this, you may want to check out my takes on why we’re all hypocrites about our ,000 weddings and why i bought a new (not used) […]. wonder what the distribution curve for the price of weddings looks like. being our own money, we couldn’t stand to be so wasteful. secondly, parents can be put under pressure to sacrifice, spend too much money on their children's weddigns, and therefore cannot enjoy their lives after retirement comfortably due to financial problems. aren’t that expensive if you consider the fact that it usually isn’t one person or couple paying for the whole thing. anybody can throw money at the bridal industry and have a fairy-tale party. other reason the perfect wedding day makes a lousy fantasy is that weddings take place in the real world, and they involve other people. knowing the astonishingly high costs of weddings, what can we do? i even took an art class before hand just for this purpose, and it was money well spent. there are various reasons for it and in my opinion, it’s a negative development. Firstly, people in developed countries are wealthier than their ancestors were in the past. is, we’ve taken the other money that we’ve had and built an extra bathroom in our house, put insulation in the walls, redecorated our room and put new furniture in it, bought a new bed, and bought a new car. even though you’re reading personal-finance blogs like iwillteachyoutoberich and are probably better at your finances than 99% of other people, you’re still human.” put the money you might have spent on a wedding into a college fund for your future children. steve, i know people that got so many red envelopes that they made money off the wedding. also hate how that “princess” narrative is basically a way to extract tons of money from women and their families, and tons of free labor from the women themselves. even though bride’s parents usually pay for the whole wedding in india, we insisted on paying.*morning celebrations are less expensive than afternoon celebrations are less expensive than evening celebrations. have put good sentences structure to make a nice essay.’m not really all that impressed by people who had awesome weddings with 150 people for 3k or whatever because most of the time they got a bunch of friends/family to donate services (catering, photography, etc). above put it best “weddings are extreme emotions mixed with money, family, and fantasy. i am sure that the weddings of 4 or 5 ridiculous celebrities every year bump up the average by a measurable amount, and i’d be much more curious about the median wedding espense than the average. all my savings up to now are concentrated on a house. not that i’m making fun, but that’s what i thought, too, until i became engaged to someone who has over 25 aunts and uncles, who all have children who are grown, with children of their own, and on and on. spending too much money on weddings implies to me that they have no imagination and they have to hire someone to tell them how to make it cool. yes, we spent more than the average – it was a conscious decision, because we were asking our friends to travel pretty far to the area where my family lived, so we wanted to host a few events over the weekend. secondly, in today’s globalized world, people are inspired by celebrities’ weddings and would like to copy them. want to know how the rich stay rich they don’t blow money on things like weddings and ,000 cars. he and/or his parents often pay for the honeymoon too, another chunk of the cost. comment is much later than the earliest ones, but it looks like people are still coming to this post at this time.’s easy to scoff at expensive weddings when you have no idea how expensive even the simplest of things is. not a single one of those weddings cost more than 0. i came to this article because i was going crazy over how to have an economical wedding without blowing all of our money…my fiance really wants a casual bbq reception. think people are able to spend 000 on their wedding because they generally have financial help from family members. there are various reasons for this trend, and i personally consider it to be a negative trend. (we weren’t saving specifically for a wedding, as per ramit’s advice, but our principle was that we weren’t going to divert money from big goals or postpone our wedding to “save for the kind of wedding we want. also there are so many funny cat videos on the internet, just waiting to be watched! bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girls and ring bearers add a lot of cost (unless you pawn those expenses off on the “honored”) as well as a lot of room for drama. yeah… i don’t like to rush things and i’m obsessed with being 150% prepared for everything. i appreciate that writing a longer essay does not necessarily correlate with a higher mark and would in fact potentially increase the probability of you making a mistake. here’s how we’re saving money:Ipod and speaker system instead of dj.. but there are so many other factors: family pressure, pressure from spouse especially women, maybe you don’t know any djs, photographers, great chefs, maybe your friends don’t want to donate their services (this happens if you’re a photographer, for example, and yet another friend asks for your services). the fact that i wanted to save my money, quit my job and start up my dream business with my savings was too much for them to bear. best of luck to all those saving for their future weddings! why would that be a rare or last time occurrence? this is where, if you plan ahead, time can take the place of money. if these questions got you stumped you might want to check out this article, “the ,000 question: why are we all hypocrites about our wedding? also agree that it is horrendous that women are trained to want x and then mocked for wanting x. you’re saving for something up front or paying for it after the fact, most people only have so much money to work with — all else they just “have to have”, like the perfect wedding day, is going to end up on the credit card.) the extra money went toward saving up to buy a house, a goal that was much more important to both of us than having an expensive wedding–and last month, we celebrated our third anniversary in our new home. aren’t any simple, ‘we’re not rich, so let’s rent out the vfw and have the family bring the food’ weddings anymore., i don’t know where morons that spend k on weddings buy the stuff to do it, but i’ve got some left over paper plates i can sell you for 0 each.'s the question that we started to look at last week:Marriages are bigger and more expensive nowadays than in the past. and if you are set on marriage on religious or other grounds, why have a wedding that puts financial strain on the young couple, their parents, and even their friends? 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Your wedding is the most special, important, valuable day of your[…] lots of commenters to brag about how you got out of debt by making hard choices (just as they annoyingly bragged about their inexpensive weddings in the comments of this post). so, if you agree with this choice — and you don’t want to go into debt for your wedding — here’s how much you should be saving (rss readers, click here):Most of us haven’t even thought about saving this amount for our weddings."people in developed countries are wealthier than their ancestors were in the past". lots of people end up going to these sites before they are engaged because of a friend or relative is getting married. touch on this in your article, but you could easily substitute “weddings” in your post title with “houses” or “cars”… any pricy shiny thing that we feel we *deserve* without actually earning. i don’t know anyone who spends 28k on their wedding, including those who are wealthy. yes, i’m sure you are different than everyone else. i agree it’s ideal to save up for a wedding in advance, today on the huffpost weddings blog, i suggested using the spend lavishly/cut costs mercilessly model for couples who have a limited amount of money to spend on their weddings. everyone told me not to worry about it, but i’ve been to my fair share of weddings, and as tiredweddingguest said, it can be an expensive proposition. do you care if your name is engraved or written in ink? in my opinion, ramit is asking why people don’t consider weddings as a financial goal to plan for, knowing that it’s one of the biggest expenditures we’ll make in life.. dearly beloved: there are just some people you have to invite. the (easy-going) parents have mentioned that they’ll chip in, but i’d rather not count on it in the planning stage. just take stuff like this as proof that, when it comes to weddings, the onus (and the focus) falls to the woman. found a wonderful bed and breakfast in florida that did full weddings (guests optional but still very affordable) and photography. haven’t dreamed of a wedding since i was a little girl, and don’t expect a “perfect” day, but i just started looking and found that weddings in the area i live in are really expensive. a house, car and kids, yes big expense, but those are things that are going to last more than just a few hours. up, the wedding industry is a huge machine whose sole purpose is to make you think that you need things that you don’t need, and to part you from your money! so either you make it immediate family only, or you are picking and choosing who gets invited, and feelings will get hurt. i swear to god, go look at any other post about weddings and you’ll see it’s not just this one. he is expected to not care about any of this. it is because we both have above income salaries and we are both diligent savers that we can do this. next spreadsheet was the nitty gritty of what we were going to spend our money on. the music went off without a hitch, the people that helped with that are tech geeks like me. home, emergency, retirement, future children, wedding, but i will be so happy i did when the day comes where i need that money. instead, they’re always and forever about not having enough money — even if the family in question is well off. when i followed the link, i assumed you’d be talking to parents, not brides- and grooms-to-be…. when you go to someone else’s wedding, are you going to care whether or not they have a program at the church? no need to go crazy, even if you do have all the money on earth. and because they are all already spending a lot of time and money to come, we can’t really ask them to contribute to the party. the whole point of that show is “omg, look at how tacky those other people are. however, i do not feel i am “throwing away good money” on my wedding. i hate it when people spend too much on their weddings and then complain about it or go into debt because of it :-o. will be advised of who they are within seconds of offering your plea, or plying your troth, or doing whatever it is betrotheds do when they’re betrothing. got married in 1983 for 0 total, minus the honeymoon which my parents gave us as a wedding gift. but my wife was totally cool with a zircon ring for 0 (diamonds are the biggest fraud in the word). and money diaries: the 20-something cube-dweller with an addiction to phone […]. are my top ten suggestions for brides that, like me, have no desire to go to the poor house or vegas to take care of their marital needs. (i have 50 first cousins and about 25 of them are at that marriage age)., i had 500 guest at my wedding less than a year ago and both sets of parents and me and my wife were able to pay cash for the wedding. i also have a friend who plans on doing everything nontraditional (no flowers, no cake, any white dress will do) in order to get the money her dad planned on spending for the wedding. what i see as problematic in this article, is the fact that women who plan their weddings meticulously and care to make sure that every detail is perfect, are considered “bridezillas. if you need any further evidence that these shows and the wedding industry and tnyt are targeting white middle class american women, just watch a single episode of my big fat gypsy wedding on the leering channel. it is a relevant point that a lot of the big spenders are getting some parental help. is, in fact, a link between overspending at weddings and the incidence of divorce. when you think about it that way, you realize that it’s your day and you’re inviting everyone you care about to share it with you, not the other way around. we track our expenses through an excel spreadsheet so we know where the money is going and what’s left.’s right on here, as are the commenters who noted that shifting costs onto others is not necessarily worthy of emulation. tasteful calla lily accents are cheaper than throwing roses everywhere. i understand the societal influences that make some people think of weddings as “the bride’s day” alone, but the expression of that opinion still made me shudder. there are people who spend immense amounts of time on sports teams they don’t actually own or manage (and never will) and no one cares about that, why should we care about women planning out weddings they may never get to have? are absolutely correct that one laughs at people for spending too much money and then when it becomes “their day” it is amazing how you can find the money to get the stupid centerpieces you want., here in spain people also do big weddings, having 100 guests is like nothing… usually between 200 and 400. if it really doesn’t matter to you, then elope, or have a 10 person ceremony in your parents’ back yard. the more people you invite, the more money you make. firstly, people in developed countries are wealthier than their ancestors.. and they asked to write an essay on giving opinion and discuss two views. one thing, statistically speaking (and forgive me if this has already been mentioned – i didn’t want to scan through 74 comments) to say that the median income is about 28k and the average wedding is 28k and, thus, people spend a year’s pay on their weddings is a fun statistic, but the journal isn’t being as statistically honest as they can in the presentation of that data. most who contributed were very happy to help and considered it a wedding present (saving them money and us from opening yet another toaster). given the number of things you could potentially spend money on at a wedding, even if there’s no overlap, you’ll still save money. 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People spend a lot of money on birthdays and marriage celebrations: brazen careerist - a career center for generation y august 3, 2008. how much are you saving each month for those things? also, we want to throw a party to bring our families together, and we’ve got that money saved already. the whole point of that show is “omg, look at how tacky those other people are., the site (outdoor) was a beautiful garden designed for weddings in the middle of a sheep ranch – 0 for the whole day and night before practice. we’re not stressed about it though because we have a savings plan and we have been diligently putting away money every month to pay for this event and we have enough cushion where we could add a little bit more if necessary.) starting tomorrow, your savings account should have virtual buckets of money for upcoming items (e.@jill: you’re right, not the most correct comparison/analogy but i read the author’s example as a more, general ‘what society says is ok to spend lots and lots of money on’ – superbowl (or other such events) = ok, normal but wedding (or other ‘female’ things) = wasteful, frivolous. but it was mostly because all the details and planning represented a close-knit artistic community we are lucky enough to be a part of. i was a kid, my sister and i used to plan out weddings on rainy days — looking through magazines to cut out dresses and flowers, making mixed tapes for the dancing afterwards, looking through poem books for pithy and poinant readings. firstly, we are buying our first home before we get married. and i don’t think it can be written off as the times finding some tiny group of weirdos and then trying to blow that up into a pronouncement on our times — there are a sizeable number of people, as those website statistics in the article demonstrate, whose pre-engagement wedding planning goes way beyond just watching say yes to the dress while hungover. i don’t think the problem is that these women are being held up as examples of how bitches be crazy — it’s that they’re being held up as encouragement to do what they did. since you are invariably locked into a date, and it cannot be cancelled if the price is not competitive, it gives contractors carte blanche to charge over the odds. exact definition of prude and slut are determined by the person judging you., having traveled to weddings on a tight budge, i can guarantee you that if a guest makes an effort to pay high travel costs to get to your wedding, that guest is going to notice if your only consideration was cutting costs. been married 3 years now and haven’t attended once since that even compares, even though the money people spend is greatly multiplied. so now my fiance and i are thinking of cutting back on our invite list to save them money, but my mom is talking about adding more, such as co-workers. i even liked my weddings, both the handfasting and the legal one! just seems to be something so wrong about moving so much closer into debt the day of your wedding… like the diamond industry, the wedding industry has found a way to make expensive weddings the norm now….[…] recent popular articles conscious spending: how my friend spends ,000/year going out the ,000 question: why are we all hypocrites about weddings? sadly, i think a lot of folks are going to have their feelings hurt about it.’re also spending money in places we didn’t anticipate. people are now trying to claim that wedding photography is overpriced, ‘we can just have uncle fred take pictures. get rid of the booze, and don’t invite anyone who probably doesn’t really care about coming. flowers are really cheap in india, and so are tailor made suits. do not need to do all of the crap they think they need for their weddings. less i think about the phrase ‘awful taint,’ the better, but i don’t think the two are at all comparable. and the whole point of this article, in case you missed the other dozens of mentions is about saving and being prepared.’m surprised to see you getting annoyed with the many people who have commented about planning weddings for much less than 28k though. i think people here are missing the point of the article, its not that spending a lot of money on a wedding is wrong, its that people have to consider how much they want to spend versus how much they can afford now/save up for later. back to all of the weddings you have attended, what do you really remember about them – you remember how young and good looking the members of the party were, the conversations you might have had with distant friends and relatives, but hardly do you remeber what food they served or how long the open bar was or how fancy the joint was. they talk about how silly it is to spend $$ on the wedding, but no more ridiculous than some of the gifts i’ve seen on the registry, or the bachelor/bachelorette party that the attendants are always expected to pick up the tab for.“and yes, i actually agree that spending large chunks of your free time planning your own wedding when you aren’t actually engaged to be married is… a tad bizarre, and kind of sad. use your memberships:Our reception hall came was at the officer’s club on eglin air force base, which was very inexpensive compared to other places at that location. baffles me the most is that people are willing to put themselves into serious debt for a wedding, and then so easily get divorced later on, when things don’t look quite so rosy? but if all those people asked me to come “pitch in” for their wedding because they are on a budget but don’t want to compromise on quality, i would freak out. i knew we didn’t have a lot of money, my parents had no money, and so we put together a small wedding. i pointed out how much money we would have to save every month to pay cash for the event and how that would impact house and car purchases down the road…we started meeting somewhere in the middle. and, with the exception of ashley, none of you people are invited. get a custom report based on your unique strengths, and discover how to start making extra money — in as little as an hour. they therefore have more money to spend on weddings, which are seen as one of life’s most important and unforgettable occasions. meanwhile the bride’s parents generally pay for the reception. everyone plans like they’re rich, even young couples who’ve barely got a few years into their jobs. is the piece of advice i would offer to everyone who’s going to take your wedding budgeting advice, ramit: when you’re figuring out how much money you’re going to spend on your wedding, and how much you need to save every month, take a moment to add a line-item or two for the cost of renting a tux, buying a bridesmaid dress, and airfare for those of your friends/family who “just have to come. you throw a couple of million+ celebrity/ultra-wealthy weddings and the averages quickly get skewed upwards. church hosts weddings, they cover everything but the pastor and tech. only thing that any of the women mentioned in the article said that really bothered me was the apparent position of one woman that she has every detail planned out, and that’s how it’s going to be, and her as-yet-nonexistent fiance will have no say in it. (however, i do cast a serious side-eye at the, ahem, skewed division of labor in putting on the last few het weddings i’ve been privy to. there’s also dresses that can be bought for cheap on ebay, and not all of them are used. there are many good parts of these weddings as well – lots of people, food, sometimes music and dancing (on the mehndi only though). for example, i don’t care what my wedding band looks like because i’ll probably lose it in the next year. even with that, it’ll probably be close to 00 (deposits for the current plan that will be lost are included in that). some other commenters have also pointed out that it’s pretty easy to go down that path, especially while attending other people’s weddings or watching one of the dozens of wedding porn shows on tv these days.” simple is good, and ramit, just a question, now *when* are you getting married? only epic thing about it really is how shitty and sexist the expectations are that are put on women. and then tnyt will highlight how weird you are for wanting what you’ve been carefully manipulated to want, instead of examining the complex that makes you want it. the rings: oh, f that cheap rings are good rings argument. but with weddings, this is somehow not just normal but defended as smart in many ways — look at the quotes in the article from people who were willing to admit in the nyt that they did this and from their husbands or wedding professionals talking about how helpful it can be. we paid for the wedding ,000 on our credit card earning miles; our honeymoon trip was free with all the miles and we already had the money to pay off the credit card cause we saved toward the wedding. 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IELTS Writing Task 2: 'marriages' topic -there are so many other things you could be doing with your spare time! as in: with the ex the reception would definitely have been in a barn and would have involved several kegs and most likely alcohol poisoning for him and many of the guests…and with my husband the biggest issue was accommodating his parents’ expectations that each and every person they have ever met (all considered “family”) would be invited, despite the non-existent amount of time to plan and small budget. keep it simple, most people don’t care and will not remember the things people waste a lot of money on. or hit up costco and get the family drunk before the reception (in the parking lot of the restaurant while you’re waiting for the afternoon reception to clear out) to avoid obscene serving fees. i wonder how the average got to 28k, considering i’ve been to 100k and 250k weddings… yeah, booze, country clubs, and ice sculptures can add up.*flowers i did myself (taught myself in high school for prom, and have been delighted with the savings ever since, it’s so ridiculously easy it’s criminal; i routinely do the flowers for my friends and sisters’ weddings)., i am excited because we are getting personalized jones soda bottles, flavored green apple, which looks like one of our colors. agree with “smart money” above, don’t get married at all. i had the huge church wedding my parents expected and i look vaguely nauseous in all the photos. think it’s a pretty lousy start to a marriage to have a woman expected to slave away to produce a gorgeous ceremony and reception while future hubby kicks back and relaxes because men “just don’t care” about this stuff, sorry honey! sure, but reality intruded – we have large families, we live 180 miles from where we’re getting married, we have full-time jobs (i travel more than 25% of the time), and we are reluctant to ask too much of our friends as we really want them to enjoy as much as possible. it’s nothing like those silly women who fantasize about pretend weddings they want to have. because if you’re working “too many” hours or take your career “too seriously” you’re a bad mother, but if you work fewer hours and accept the financial hit to care for your family you’re a welfare queen and lazy. the other hand, there are various reasons why spending lavishly on wedding is considered as a negative development. the mall’s account, which is not a bank account but just a place were the invitees will transfer their money. except women are all supposed to play it cool and not act desperate, lest you scare away potential suitors, even while getting bombarded with the message that getting married is supposed to be this be all end all experience of a lifetime. know, at first i thought the whole idea of commenting on a comment about weddings was stupid. get a custom report based on your unique strengths, and discover how to start making extra money — in as little as an hour. lots of money spent, and the day made “special” by having everything be just right.[…] at i will teach you to be rich recently wrote an article about the cost of weddings. go to some form of “church” if you’re religious, or the town hall, or appropriate location, if you are not. most people, frankly, are not discplined enough to do this. but i also don’t set myself up as the fun appropriateness police, and declare that liking x (when x is a thing that women are overwhelmingly involved in and responsible for) is just haha so loser lol, but throwing expensive weekly baseball-watching parties (in which an equivalent time/energy is invested as these women spend on pinterest or whatever) is totally cool? my parents aren’t rich, and the only thing i could convince them to let me pay for was the photographer. but ramit’s point, that budget becomes unreal the closer you get to the wedding, is right (forgive me) on the money.’ well, unless uncle fred comes with 3 camera bodies, 5 lenses, 3 flashes, a spare compact camera, effects boxes and filters, you will probably be disappointed with the results. my parents back yard for the ceremony, a small place rented for reception, off the rack but still very lovely gown (clearness rack), a nice shirt and jacket for me, we’re all (us and my kids)are wearing cowboy boots. the savings that everyone seems to be proud of are great, it’s not always that easy. i have been to several weddings that were fun and cheap, but that’s because the bride and groom were pretty much on college student budgets.” ummm, yeah, i barely have enough time to sleep, what makes you think i have time to print and write cards myself., the costs are so high now i think parents should start a savings fund for their kids as soon as they’re born. most of the people are so influenced by it and they want to their marriages in a similar way. and yes, i actually agree that spending large chunks of your free time planning your own wedding when you aren’t actually engaged to be married is… a tad bizarre, and kind of sad. i mean, football is so very masculine, the very paragon of usian masculinity really, while weddings are so girly and silly and utter proof of how vapid the women who fantasize about them truly are. i get it, you want to share your special day with everyone you know, but it should more intimate, in my opinion. we are having 150 people and we are being very cost conscious. i was scared silly of all those people looking at me.” you’re really saying “hello, charge me the fool money rate. you’re really going to be objective about weddings, you should also consider saving for the dresses/tuxes, gifts, and travel expenses that will invariably come as you celebrate with your friends. after all when 50% of americans divorce it seems pretty wasteful to spend money on catering so you can impress your friends and family. weddings are filled to the brim with sexism unfair, gendered expectations, and planning for fun sounds an awful lot like playing along with poisonous ideas. to each their own–there’s nothing wrong with spending money on a wedding, provided it’s done responsibly. wedding was fine, and i feel good about how i spent the money, but it would have been really nice to have had money set aside to spend on a honeymoon, nicer decorations or helped out with my bridesmaids costs.” when i said things like i really didn’t care what people in the wedding party wore. what is unusual, however, is that so many people will scoff at the above story — and then proceed to spend ungodly amounts on large purchases like a new home or a wedding while steadfastly insisting how absurd “most” people are. thing is that the money transferred to that account can actually be used to buy anything with the mall’s card (it doesn’t matter if is not in the list).!We will rent out a grove at a local park in pittsburgh, pa (which are very beautiful with lots of trees, as i originally wanted a garden wedding).[…] time the wedding money-saving is more to do with adopting a smart strategy as early as […]. the “all about us” couple never seems to spare their guests any costs, or cut back on the gift registry. everything else was taken care of and it was honestly way cheaper than i could have imagined such a nice evening. often grandparents chip in as well, offering up things like the use of their country club, cash gifts, or whatever. my fi and i are saving like mad for this (plus a small contribution from each of our retired parents) and i know we will be able to “afford” this wedding. any event, if you aren’t flush with cash, arrange everything everything so that, if someone isn’t invited, it’s someone else’s fault, but not and never your fault.’t try to have traditional evening reception and save money on food by putting out cold cuts. while i personally find the big princess dream wedding goal to be thoroughly silly, i also understand that at least in the united states, there’s an enormous cultural mythology attached to women and weddings.[…] recent popular articles conscious spending: how my friend spends ,000/year going out the ,000 question: why are we all hypocrites about weddings?. which are seen as one of life’s most important.!” is something women are force-fed from the time we’re toddlers, i still cringe when i see women take that to the extreme, and plan a wedding as if it’s just about them and not about, you know, a partnership.(or maybe it’s ok to just go enjoy other people’s weddings? there are even people who make a profit with their wedding. 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Why I Think Weddings Are a Stupid Waste of Money | The Huffington
Why is so much money spent on wedding functions in India? - Quora“and then proceed to spend ungodly amounts on large purchases like a new home or a wedding while steadfastly insisting how absurd “most” people are. again, short-term expense, but we figured that saving everyone’s sanity was worth the extra money. my fiancé and i are getting married next month in seattle, have planned a fabulous, ,500 wedding for 120 people, and will be debt free after the honeymoon. criticism, though: be careful about bandying about that “average cost of a wedding is ,000” factoid (mentioned in the book mentioned in the wall street journal article).” if your wedding trappings are the only thing you have to express your love then you’re doomed. why not take that extra money that you could have spent and put it towards a down payment on the next big step in your lives together, buying a house. the weddings i’ve attended were far more relaxed events. bridezillas/groomzillas will soon start having kids, and will most likely be as ill-prepared financially for that as well. however, wouldn’t it be more sensible to use that money for a down payment on a home (instant equity! if i had that much money extra, i would be sharing it with the world, to help people, and not to spend on myself in a vain, selfish way to make myself feel special. happens every year with increasingly expensive weddings, despite young people protesting that their wedding will be simple. but don’t be a helicopter parent, a tiger mom! it flabbergasts me to think of all the people who choose to start their new life together buy throwing away good money. for some people, a wedding declares, “we are adults now. hs was full of hs drama and boyfriends were musical chairs, but i still don’t recall any of us planning weddings. we are able to save a lot of money, can invite everyone on our list, and are looking forward to a really fun time. it’s drilled into your head from the time you are a child. i’m sure that everyone spends money on something that others would find ridiculous – that’s not what this article or this website are about at all. i’ve participated at weddings with a budget well above 0k. firstly, people in developed countries are wealthier than their ancestors were in the past. what it’s worth we’ve just released a new product called wedding mapper that is designed to lower the cost of your wedding slightly by allowing you to create an online wedding map to share with your guests. we still remember our wedding fondly and we are still happily married 26 years later. because a few outliers were able to save a bunch of money on their wedding doesn’t mean most people can. have adapted to various changes in societies, and this has resulted in materialism in weddings. my wife and i got married 4 years ago in a small family affair at my parents house, then we had a larger gathering that was catered, but very informal. me to the list of people who are starting to get annoyed by the people who look down their noses at people whose weddings cost over 00., i don’t think the cost of the wedding matters as much as how it comports with your view on weddings, and marriage, and what not. i read your essay, it looks pretty good enough from my point of view. i hate deciding on things that are supposed to be most important decisions ever, so i pretty much checked out on that. but be prepared — you’re going to have to confront the hypocrisy that we all have when it comes to these purchases.) i don’t know anyone who falls into these statistics — but then i’ve only been to about 4 weddings and i’m dead set on going to the courthouse in a few months myself. me glad my marriage marker (it was more an announcement and chance to frock up/eat pastries than anything else) wasn’t an earthly thing – no money involved at all. i mean, odds are high that i wouldn’t be able to catch a man until age 60 at the rate i’m going, and the dresses i’d pick out now aren’t going to look so great on my old, fat bod come the day. seriously, the only disagreement we had re: weddings was whether or not we were going to play one particular song. we’ve done research, asked around, determined the things that were important, estimated prices for them based on getting price quotes, and have come up with a cost for the whole deal and are saving for 10% more than that. my fi and i are trying to not exceed k (the reception site/food/bar alone cost k). raise a great point that many wedding bloggers don’t talk about: of course people should thoughtfully save toward their weddings, just like any other life milestones. have a photojournalism degree and sometimes shoot weddings as a side business and felt i was guilted into shooting a co-worker’s wedding for free. i know exactly how much my parents will give, and not a cent more (i have 3 sisters), how much my fiance’s parents will contribute, and then my fiance and i have worked out how much we plan to spend in total, by getting actual quotes from various places (high end and low end) and deciding how much we will each contribute as a result, leaving extra money for those unexpected expenses that are bound to pop up and don’t want to throw on a credit card and deal with it later., it’s refreshing to read some advice on how to plan financially for weddings even if you’re not engaged yet! am tired of people saying it is stupid or unnecessary to spend a lot of money on a wedding. my view, rising costs of weddings should be seen as a negative trend. yet another 0 dress that will just hang in the closet because odds are the bridesmaid’s will have no choice in the style or color. the best ways to cut costs are to reduce the number of participants. have nothing to say on the subject of the girls that never outgrew the princess syndrome, but i will say this for the poor clueless gals holed up with a copy of martha stewart weddings and a pocket full of dreams. and i didn’t care for a wedding dress either.[…] in reading a great blog post about the high cost of weddings and how to plan for them, try this one at the iwillteachyoutoberich blog. and then tnyt will highlight how weird you are for wanting what you’ve been carefully manipulated to want, instead of examining the complex that makes you want it. therefore, i think it’s difficult, if not almost impossible, to say that the numbers are reliable. i mean i agree with the theory (“women stuff” is treated as inherently frivolous) but a wedding that you personally shovel tens of thousands of dollars into and that is a celebration for you personally is pretty different than a major national sporting event that corporate advertisers spend a lot of money on. like that you wrote a sample savings guide for weddings. why not buy a lower cost dress or a discount dress, and pay a little money to have it beaded or to customize it so it fits your personality better. even just sales tax and required 20% gratuities are expenses that are often overlooked. They therefore have more money to spend on weddings, which are seen as one of. and family are making food, and i am going to get two platters of meat and cheese and we’ll have sandwiches. really all you need are a bride, a groom, and a celebrant. the way, if anyone’s interested in a no nonsense wedding ceremony in the bay area, i’m ordained. as we were trying to save money for ourselves and our families, i was worried about how much my guests were going to have to spend to come to our wedding. i truly believe that if people weren’t so greedy and self-absorbed, their weddings would be far more affordable.! so we had to spend 10k more than we planned and my parents covered the rest.
The lunacy of the Pakistani wedding - The Express Tribuneeven if your wedding is cheap compared to ,000, you’re still in debt if you haven’t paid for it. parents had to invite 1500 people and my in-laws insisted that we get married in a big wedding hall that costs k/night etc etc . questions that financially unprepared people fear | i will teach you to be rich february 8, 2009. weddings, no matter whatever else they are, are supposed to be fun. yes, of course (we live in a major city, so the “average” wedding cost figures are much higher). i imagine there are many cheap weddings and many expensive weddings, but few in the middle (once you’re going into debt, what’s a little more? was recently an article in yahoo’s finance section about the expense of weddings and why we feel the need to spend so much on weddings and the industry as a whole.:
Rachel Wells: Affordable wedding dresses at H&M and ASOStour through my blogroll: g to l : plonkee money november 18, 2007. we made a profit on the wedding and used the money for the downpayment on our house that we moved into the following year. while you’re on pinterest planning every detail of your wedding for hours on end, the guy in the cubicle next to you can use his spare time to write an article for a trade publication or get lunch with the boss. plus there are costs like wedding rings, bands and ‘little’ things that add up. it doesn’t always have to be like that, you can always find the ones that are more in your liking. are determined to spend none of our own money on our wedding, which is in three months. but my experience, and that of many other readers of this column, has been that how beautiful it is has little or no correlation to how much money you spend on it., lola, anna above even beat me to the punch…you guys are totally my brain twins on this! so, you’re gonna spend 160k on your wedding because your parents are rich and are gonna pay for it? shouldn`t you spend the money on entertainment without it being a cliché. six months later, we have our heads on straight and are getting out of credit card debt, but it’s a slow process, as most of us know! we both saved like crazy and paid for the big event in case with some help from parents who were absolutely insistent on pitching in., i eloped, which saved a huge amount of money (and stress due to family hassles) but is obviously not right for everyone. people who come to wedding are more interested to watch these stars rather than congratulating and spending some quality time with wedding couple. are not applicable to the modern world, others like the real meaning of marriage is still helpful and should not be forgotten. after all, if you are a bridesmaid you are supposed to be helping with the planning somewhat. finally, the unnecessary money spent on weddings can be utilized for good purpose like charity or could be saved for their future expenses. the big wedding and instead invest in premarital counseling, and make sure you are genuinely ready for marriage.” those shows are carefully crafted to make you want to buy stuff. we will only spend what our parents are giving us, which, i can assure you, is much, much less than the ,000 average. of course it’s insane to spend that much money, but the reality is that most people will do it when it comes down to their special day. but if you spend “too much” time and money on hair and makeup then you’re vain. can you imagine spending that much money for one day of your life? i share your incredulity over the big, big numbers vs. this list became popular the logic evolution was to just pay an amount of money straight to the couple’s bank account so that they could buy anything. we opened an online savings account with emigrant direct, deposited the lump sums from the parents, and started earning interest. my husband and i married three years ago, we had over ,000 in the bank and could easily have afforded the “average” ,000 wedding–but to us, it made no sense at all to spend that kind of money on a single day.(and did anyone catch the parenthetical bit in the beginning, how it’s usually “the” woman? most cities have a few lines that are one time, clean, and you get to see the city. they have the rest of their money saved for a better house as they already own a home. or else send me the money and i’ll buy that damn bottle of champagne and never, ever open it. of my friends are teachers and don’ t have much money. unless you have the money to show off, throwing a lot of money at a wedding is stupid.’m sure all the super cheap wedding people that posted before me have something else in their lives that are important to them and they spend money on it, whether it be their child’s education, cars, their house, vacations, sports, clothes, technology, charity, whatever. also cringe when i see that small cohort of slightly-odd women being held up in the style section for public mockery, simply for doing what the people who benefit from the many millions of dollars in wedding industry money have encouraged them to do and insisted is not only normal but valuable and necessary. placing these women at the extreme of that narrative, obviously, but in at least some ways normalizing the general view that women reach adulthood already having given tons of thought to their weddings, with the groom semi-irrelevant to that.” this brings up the age-old dichotomy of women being told that they are not detail and task- oriented but when they are assertive and take initiative on projects that are important to them, they are called bitchy and crazy. the first spreadsheet was a summary of how much we could spend on the wedding – k from my parents (the only-child wedding fund clause), k from his parents, he could save k (after mortgage, etc. it’s my money and i can choose to do with it as i please. money problems are the single biggest source of stress for young couples. the past few months, npr’s “marketplace money” has been profiling a couple in the middle of planning their wedding. finally, weddings can be seen as a reflection of wealth. but, how you saved money doesn’t allow me to save money, since some (most) of them aren’t options for various reasons (or maybe i’ve just been brainwashed by society). on the one hand, i would love to have a big chill party with all our nearest and dearest, but on the other hand, that’s just too much money. supporting local stores and suppliers may end up saving you money, and not having guests fly halfway round the planet to come to your wedding may also save a lot. will require a massive overhaul or elimination of “wedding porn” type media and probably crack the industrial complex around weddings into tiny pieces, so a lot of work is needed indeed. grandparents and my husband’s parents dashed down to the justice of the peace to get married, and they were just as married and as happy as any couple today who had a ,000 wedding.” here are some sure-fire ways to get me to say yes to the ,000 question: […]. check it out: the 28,000 question: why are we all hypocrites about weddings? because that’s how much money we budgeted to spend! just do this before they start heating up the oil: “mom,” you say, “mom, me and wilfredo only have (this much money) to do the wedding, and that’s it. more,many people are attending weddings becuase of advance in transport system. as for booze (which is where the real money comes in) tell your family that you’ve become a pentecostal holy roller and cannot stain your lips with the venom of sinful men. but i would have been better off if only i was “aware” and had planned to save. sometimes the parents let the bride know how much she has available to spend, and if the couple wants to go beyond that, they can pay for things themselves. read another stat that may relate to one of the points you’re making recently – something like 75% of americans think “people are too materialistic” but something like 8% think they personally are.) i also hate the overdone wastes of flowers and lights and music. secondly, in today’s globalized world, people see photos of celebrity weddings and want to copy them. i for one do not have parents or future in-laws who can afford to help much with the wedding, nor do i know anyone who can sew my dress, or dj the reception. comments for “your wedding is the most special, important, valuable day of your entire existence, but you are a crazy bitch if you plan it too much. – he didn’t want one, and i didn’t particularly care one way or the other. however, it’s not outrageous for people to want to have their friends and relations share one of life’s most special occasions. am not in full control of how much money i make. points about being realistic, saving and prioritizing for a wedding (or any other big purchase) are all dead on. my partner and i are planning a wedding right now.[…] ramit has a great post about weddings on i will teach you to be rich. then come rentals…chairs, tables, silverware if you want to eat with something if you want to do it at a park, etc. are filled to the brim with sexism unfair, gendered expectations, and planning for fun sounds an awful lot like playing along with poisonous ideas. disclosure: i’m a middle-class french man, and as such my representation of weddings is probably very different to what it’s talked about here. i’ve had a bunch of family weddings in the last few months, so i suggested she check out a nearby stationery store for her invitations. renting tables, chairs, linens, silverware, plates, glasses, napkins, sound system, lights: 00. when we got engaged, we each wrote down a must have list for the wedding/reception, and it came to be that we had a great catered bbq, small wedding party, immediate family and close friends (70 total- sibs, grands/parents, and nieces/nephews totaled close to 40) a budding photographer, our favorite 3-person local band, and our favorite local microbrew’s kegs.” stories about desperate single heterosexual women who are just dying to get married. all we want to do is throw a nice party for our friends and family, almost all of whom will be coming in from (literally) across the country, and we sort of think it would be rude to not feed people dinner who have spent a thousand bucks on airfare + hotel just to show up. of all i want to thank you for the continuous tasks you are. you already have a household set up with your fiance and do not need more household bric-a-brac, then consider having a wedding in a way that saves money for you and puts more of the cost onto the guest in order for them to attend, which can be their gift to you instead of more clutter. not that helpful since most people aren’t that lucky and that’s not even what this post is about! then i found out they were having an east coast wedding and a west coast wedding — each — for a total of four weddings in a few months. i don’t have parents anymore and they never saved for anything., everyone pretends that they won’t spend huge fortunes on their weddings… until they actually […]. after all, we know a guest is a guest, but, really, most all good weddings are about crab puffs and roll-up sandwiches. say it is for a family reunion, an anniversary party – all they honestly need to know is how many people are coming and what you want. you aren’t complete until you have someone else completing you. and i are actually thinking of cancelling it, and just doing a small ceremony. among our dearest friends are a formalwear designer/dressmaker, a wedding planner, the owner of a catering company, a graphic designer, an event designer/florist, two members of a band that regularly did wedding gigs, and the manager of a venue that was planning to start doing weddings. fortunately, i know a lot of people who are talented and lovely and helpful, and we pulled off a wedding for 120 people for less than ,000 and we did it without going into debt. are getting married in vermont in a small ceremony, and inviting only our parents for a nice weekend. i got engaged 2 months ago & it has been a rollercoaster of shock at what people charge for things (like a one-day dress) and relief that my parents offered to help with costs. my suggestions are designed specifically for someone that wishes to stay below 5 grand in their wedding budget (5 grand, that is, on shit you will never see again after your special day…see number 5 for the exception). are that you’ll be part of several weddings and odds are these weddings will end up being expensive affairs, as you discuss above. guess your view is distorted by the dual lenses of culture and geography, but not all weddings are anywhere near as expensive as you say. when we were younger, we simply couldn’t fathom spending our money on the wedding-industrial complex and as time went on, we realized we simply didn’t need “marriage” to add legitimacy to our relationship. 25 favorite personal finance, career, and personal development blogs | rich dad poor dad blog may 5, 2009. there are many people who want to have their dream wedding and go broke, and then there are those who actually plan for their dream wedding accordingly – they do the math and plan it well. firstly, it is making a financial burden on bride parents as they are bound to spend a huge amount of money on their daughter weddings due to the pressure from society. tbh, past, i’ve been to, like, 7 weddings in my life and two of them were mine! most weddings end in divorce, why start your marriage financially cramped by a wedding? if most people are ignorant about the costs of their own wedding, i think it’s fair to say that almost all of us have our heads buried in the sand when it comes to participating in other people’s weddings. check out: the ,000 question: why are we all hypocrites about weddings? if you need any further evidence that these shows and the wedding industry and tnyt are targeting white middle class american women, just watch a single episode of my big fat gypsy wedding on the leering channel. she had been married once before and couldn’t take another lavish waste of money, and i had been a wedding dj on maui and wanted no part in all of that foolishness and none of the attention. also saved money because my other aunt who is a genius co-ordinator managed things the day of – for free. although they are starting their own family as adults, they still rely on thier parents for help when paying a deposit and a mortgage., despite your comments, it appears some are still stuck on stupid. it was an event to be enjoyed, a day my guests always remember fondly, and a wedding that i’ll always hold as a standard when attending other’s weddings., my fiancé and i are both engineers, so we love data and numbers and planning in general, but i believe that spreadsheets are really vital to anyone who wants to come out debt free. my main advice is for boys and girls who are close to an engagement to start doing some heavy research on where to get the best deals, and don’t get married less than 9 months after your engagement, a rushed wedding means rushed, desperate, and expensive choices.’s a link to our cash flow projection that breaks down all the costs so you can see where all the money goes:Mary august 15, 2007..999% of the reason i didn’t have a proper iyengar wedding was because i’d have been panicky and miserable sitting in front of a fire (fires scare the shit out of me) for 8 hours in the middle of a large crowd (which would also scare the shit out of me). quite the opposite: the very same people who spend ,000 on their weddings are the ones who, a few years earlier, said the same thing you’re saying right now: “i just want a simple wedding.% of marriages fail, and the majority of expensive weddings i’ve been to fall into this category. i happened to marry into a larger family from a different culture where weddings are more formal and my original idea was not workable. a dj who’s done his share of weddings i have one solid piece of advice for anyone looking for a dj:So many dj’s today hawk light shows, fog machines, outlandish personalities… from the guests perspective, this is all incredibly annoying when attempting to celebrate the union of two people!
Are Weddings A Huge Waste of Money? - Blog
whether it be that we spend way too much on weddings (god help me if i have to invite all my family and friends or, worse yet, everyone on my facebook account), or that we just generally don’t plan for any of life’s ridiculously expensive landmarks, we all have a problem. we had only the immediate family, used a chapel on the campus where we’d met (which was so pretty that it didn’t need flowers), had a friend play guitar, and went to my parents’ house for dinner afterwards. change the paradigm and convince your parents that if they want a huge wedding for you, that’s great if they want to pay for it. i’d quite forgotten that my hubs has about 63 cousins and general relations in california (most in the bay) and that weddings are not optional or burdensome in his family’s cultural tradition. i did weddings years ago, i negotiated with the couple over price, letting them set limits. this is one of the benefits of a long engagement: it gives you plenty of time to start putting your money away. (and don’t get me started on the traditional elements that don’t cost money – first dances, rice throwing, cake-face-smushing, bouquet-throwing,,etc) if you leave everything traditional at the doorstep, you can create something original and fun for everyone. i’m coming from a different background and in our culture it is expected family and friends will bring money as a present. will teach you to be rich » the a la carte method: use psychology against yourself to save money june 5, 2008. if you really don’t want to spend money, then go to city hall. for instance, there are far more poisonous and damaging narratives around dating than there are around a wedding (which, at its worst, can only leave you in debt, not in hospital or a women’s shelter). a complete waste of money to spend 28k on one day! i always go back to reread his posts on conscious spending and why we are all hypocrites about weddings.(2) ,000 would be a bargain in comparison to most of the weddings i’ve been to. the gap between the rich and poor would be clearly seen through weddings,and this can frustrate young couples who wish to have small weddings. so the wedding industrial complex is pretty nasty, fully supported by our misogynistic culture, but support and love and fun parties are awesome. we are having a reception for family two weeks later at a privately-owned home that is rented out for events. the many, many, many commenters on this article who planned weddings with a few grand aren’t wrong, annoying, or bragging; they’re in a different wedding planning market than you and your social circle. happened upon your article “the ,000 question: why are we all hypocrites about weddings? didn’t read through all the posts, so this might have been said already… i read an article on wedding planning somewhere else and it pointed out that the studies performed on wedding costs are being performed by parties (i. university student unions, public parks, some museums, friends’ backyards are also other less expensive places to hold the festivities. i guess if you don’t spend the money on the wedding, you can use it on something else […]. however, i will be getting married at a point in my life when i will have (assuming the career is going well) a decent amount of money saved up, some of which i will be earmarking for a wedding. i got married in a civil ceremony before my husband left on deployment and we are paying off the credit cards we have now and saving for the wedding. in my opinion, anyone who had a huge wedding and then gets divorced should by law have to contact each and every person they invited to their wedding and tell them how sorry they are that they made them come to a wedding when they had no intention of following “till death do us part”. we have about 2-3 weddings each weekend and i have seen the full gamut of price range for ceremonies, from a 0,000 this weekend to one that took place right outside a room, with only 7 people and a priest and a nice dinner at the restaurant for everyone afterwards. so, they had us send them 1/2 the money, they told their wedding party they would like them to dress in the colors chosen for wedding, and they are active fun people so they had their wedding at a bowling alley. if it is just that, every man owes his mother the courtesy of seeing him dressed up once in his life, and despite the fact that most of you can’t carry it off at all, you should also dress up for your adoring wife, given that she’s probably a lot better people than you are, anyway. if that’s the sort of thing you find relaxing or otherwise cathartic, then who are we to judge? thing that never, ever gets taken into account is this: no matter how determined you are to be frugal, no matter what you swear you won’t do, there will be a mother or aunt or someone who will cause internecine family warfare for three months and cause you to blow your budget. ferns are a part of our invitation and cake design.[…] in reading a great blog post about the high cost of weddings and how to plan for them, try this one at the iwillteachyoutoberich blog. most people planning weddings really don’t know what the actual market value of the services they are buying and most don’t take the time to do the research to find out just how much they are getting ripped off.– my friend’s parents did the engraving for my groom’s gifts.(or maybe it’s ok to just go enjoy other people’s weddings?’re lucky — we have the cash on hand because we’re frugal in almost every other area of our lives. essential money rules to get you through your 30s - money mozart december 28, 2015. i suppose the ability to plan one’s wedding is largely because some brides don’t really care about the other half to begin with, but maybe that’s just my cynism speaking. agree with everyone on here about how crazy it is to spend that kind of money. think i told my parents 2 years ago that if they want a wedding, it’s their responsibility because i am tapped out trying to cover everything else.. most of these weddings were paid for primarily by the bride’s parents. the general trend (yes, even in the critical slant on it that feminism takes) is to separate things into male and female things, and it is in a background of femmephobia that these criticisms are based, inevitably. they have enough money to spend on their weddings which is considered as one of life’s important and unforgettable occasions. conclusion, agreed that marriage is an important occasion and it should be celebrated in a memorable way but money spent on unnecessary things should be avoided as it could be used for other good purposes and it has various negative effects.[…] post on why we’re all hypocrites about our weddings was one of my most […]. ramit has a great post on why you should also have a wedding fund (shocking how fast even “modest” weddings add up).” while pouring over your site, which my dear cousin the lawyer directed me to upon hearing that i was looking for some fresh ideas and guidance for investment, as i’ve amassed enough interest in my cd/money market accounts to warrant action. the wedding industry loves the high numbers, but really most people don’t spend that kind of money.[…] people who spend ,000+ on their weddings are dumb (same as above — see comments) […]. then ask them how much money they’re saving every month for their wedding (whether they’re engaged or not). we will prioritise the important things and put more money there, while the less important can have the least budget. first of all, all good weddings go deep into the night.[…] my short-term savings accounts are through ing direct, and they automatically withdraw 3% of my paycheck each month (i would really like to get this number higher). but it’s just not always that easy to not spend the money if you don’t have the other resources available. point isn’t to judge people for having expensive weddings. i know she wants this day to be perfect, but i care more about being married than the actual day. k sounds almost like a dream here in bay area. i was too selfish and even though i never clamped down hard on my wife’s spending (hey, she makes good money). so my fiance and i saved the money and picked out some very nice rings that we were able to pay off immediately. send wedding announcements: “share our unbelievable happiness, wish us luck, don’t send presents, go to our myspace to see photos from our vacation at st.
The 20 Biggest Wastes of Money and How to Avoid Them
i do not think that it is smart to go for a cheap photographer or videographer just to save money because i have had friends do that and they were very disappointed in the outcome. at this point in my life, i have spent a lot of time in buildings that have very nice decor, whether they are cathedrals or university buildings with ornate gothic decor. seriously, i don’t where all those other wedding people went, but totally great food and drink are really, other than seeing your friends and loved ones admit in public that they’re settling, the only reason anyone ever comes to a wedding. hate to admit it, but i will mock tacky weddings.[…] by sepial at august 20th, 2007 this time the wedding money-saving is more to do with adopting a smart strategy as early as […]. disagree with the commenter who recommended friday weddings to save money. the brides get made-up for huge sums to just sit there for a few hours, there are cheesy and contrived photo-shoots, and moving is so difficult because of the intricate and heavy clothes. married (and everything else you do in the bay area) is insanely f*cking expensive.
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